"Cool Girl", "Pick Me Girl", "Subservient Wife"; Eras of the female mold

 In 2014, an adaptation of Gillian Flynn’s thriller novel, Gone Girl, was released by director David Fincher. The film follows the twisted narrative of Amy Dunne, played by Rosamund Pike, and her husband Nick Dunne, played by Ben Affleck. When the beloved public figure and childhood star, known as “Amazing Amy”, goes missing, the media and investigators are sent into a frenzy, suspecting Nick as her murderer. As the viewer tries to use clues to uncover the truth of what really happened, we are shown flashbacks of different vulnerabilities and dark moments in Nick and Amy’s marriage. Though the movie was released nearly six years ago, the infamous “Cool Girl” monologue has recently resurfaced on TikTok with a new audience of Gen-Z’ers analyzing its feminist truths and criticisms. 

What I love about Gone Girl is it captures two extremes through the perspectives of the male and female main characters. On the one hand, we have Nick Dunne’s portrayal of the misogynistic jerk and insensitive husband. To contrast, Amy Dunne takes feminism to another level in a cunning yet psychopathic way. Throughout the movie, you are not quite sure who to love, and who to hate. Despite sociopathic behavior, Amy articulates this idea of a “Cool Girl” trope which she believes that many women, including herself, have adopted in order to seek male approval and ultimately love. The monologue highlights the absurd, unrealistic expectations that men have for women and the extremes to which a woman will go to in order to conform. 

So you might be wondering, what exactly is a “Cool Girl”? It’s like the golden compliment, but in its achievement, many women are left destroyed. “Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer”... “while somehow maintaining a size 2.” Above all, a “Cool Girl” doesn’t get angry or complain. 

Amy expresses her hatred of the “Cool Girl”, referring to them as “Pathetic” since “They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be.” In her mind, this type of girl doesn’t actually exist but is simply a figment of every man’s imagination. 

So why has this monologue resurfaced amongst young people? One of the newest Gen-Z ideologies is a character called the “Pick-me girl”. The pick-me girl is hated amongst the female population because they align their interests, values, and humor with that of the dreaded teenage boy. They post about sports, they hate Taylor Swift, they laugh at offensive jokes in fear of seeming “not chill” if they speak up, and most of all, they are often ingenuine and they do these things to be chosen and liked amongst men. They are what is referred to as “Written by a man”, fitting the narrative of every man’s dream. Now, this isn’t to say that all men are terrible, but it does target the misogynistic jerks (Nick Dunnes) of the world. The pick-me girl is not considered a feminist ally because instead of undermining the behavior of these men, they feed into it, fueling a historically patriarchal system. 

The issue with criticizing and characterizing someone as a “Cool girl” or “Pick-me” girl is it can cross a line, achieving the exact opposite of what it was meant to do in the first place; undermine misogyny. Maybe some girls actually do love male-dominated activities like sports and maybe some girls actually don’t appreciate Taylor Swift’s music. By hating the women that don’t agree with the opinions of most women, we have come full circle. 

Throughout literature and film, we see this gender-based power struggle and the chokehold the male gaze has on female leads. Though the notion of a “cool girl” or “pick me girl” has changed with the times, it is evident through “Their Eyes Were Watching God” that Janie also seeks male validation which drives her conformity, specifically in her relationship with Joe, an ambitious mayor. Janie assumes a “cool girl” role in her own way through subservience, stateliness, and beauty. The “cool girl” of this period was similarly objectified and perceived by men as not simply the ideal woman, but what a woman should be. In contrast to the voluntary, modern cool girl, women had to fit the male gaze as a means of survival. Though these perceptions of women have changed with time, there has always been this underlying struggle for female autonomy, control, and choice as a result of oppressive systematic patriarchy.